As a parent, it can be extremely difficult to know how to best support your children with special needs. They may require more attention, effort and patience than other children. At times, it can be hard to know if you’re supporting them or making it harder for them to thrive. However, there is no 100% right answer to being a parent with special needs. All you can do is try a variety of approaches and see if they work for you and your family. Below is a list of a few ways that you can support a child with disabilities. Use this list as a foundation or starting place to customize it for your family’s specific needs.
Research your child’s disabilities
The first, and most important thing you can do to support a child with disabilities is find out more information about your child’s disability. What is the cause? Is there a cure or treatment? What things worsen it or improve it? Are there any research studies that are advancing knowledge about your child’s disabilities? What support does your community or child’s school system offer? This information is available on disability organization or foundation pages, the internet, healthcare provider, etc.
The more you know about this, the more you can anticipate. It’s harder to feel prepared when you are always caught off guard. However, if you can research and know just as much about your child’s disability as their care providers, you can be more involved in your child’s treatment, while also being a knowledgeable advocate. If your child needs something or begins exhibiting certain symptoms, you can be proactive. Feeling prepared and on the front end of the disease may help reduce some frustrations, as well as provide you with a certain appreciation for the things that your child is able to accomplish in spite of any limitations their disability may try to place on them.
Find support groups for both of you
When your child has a disability, it can be very easy to feel isolated, both you and them. Even if they are non-verbal, social interaction is still very helpful. They can find other children their age who may be living with the same condition. It provides a sense of comfort and relief for them to know that there are other children who are just like them. This also may help in their development of certain skills as they see someone else exhibit them.
These support groups are also very important for you because you may start to feel burnt out and overwhelmed. Finding a support group for you can connect you with other parents who also are raising a child(ren) with the same disabilities. They can provide you tips, information, and just overall support on the days when it gets really hard. No one can do anything by themselves, and it really does take a village to provide children with the best environment for their growth. This is especially true when you have the unique challenges of providing extra care for your child’s disabilities. Find groups where children and parents can get together so you both can build a supportive social circle that helps you both thrive.
Provide a structured environment
All children need structure, and this is especially true for children with special needs. Regardless of their cognitive level, having a consistent environment, schedule, caretakers, and expectations can help reduce any behavioral challenges you may be facing. Structured environments can also provide great mental support and a suitable environment for learning. It can be difficult to stick to the same schedule and actions to consequences, but it will pay out in the end. Children in unstable environments may exhibit more distressing behaviors or have a harder time functioning because they are unsure of what will come next.
Ways to provide a structured environment include:
- follow a similar schedule every day
- condition children to behave certain ways by being consistent with consequences and rewards (avoid physical punishments as these may have significantly adverse effects in children with special needs)
- coordinate goals with schools and caretakers so they can provide continuous structure between various environments
- provide social and emotional stability
If you struggle to do any of these, then find professionals to work with who can help you develop a plan to help your child thrive. If your struggles are financial stability or other socioeconomic issues, then please speak with community support systems who can help provide you some additional support so you can provide your child with a more structured environment.
Challenge children
Children with special needs may need certain accommodations, but they are still capable of learning and absorbing their environment. They may not be able to grasp concepts as quickly, but they are still capable. Therefore, it’s important to know the difference between accommodating them and coddling them. Coddling may involve you not giving them the chance to try a new skill. Accommodating means observing their shortcomings and providing extra support where they need. Over time, maybe you reduce some of those accomodations in order to continue challenging them.
It’s important to find a fine balance, because overestimating their capabilities may lead to children losing confidence in themselves if they are challenged far beyond their capabilities. For example, if children can feed themselves, then allow them to do that by feeding them foods that can be eaten by hand or is already cut up. This challenges them to develop certain skills, while not providing them with a situation where they will have very little chance for success.
Know when you need a break
When you are the parent of a special needs child, you may feel guilty that sometimes you just feel tired. You love your child the way they are, but the extra challenges can sometimes seem unbearable. When you get to this point, just understand that feeling is natural. It can happen to anyone. But, it’s important to recognize when you get to this point and make a change for yourself. When you keep trying to push through, then you may put yourself at risk for becoming burnt out. Burnt out caretakers are at higher risk for becoming abusive, neglectful, and suffering from their own mental health disorders.
One way that you can take a break is by working with a home healthcare service provider, like Diverse Health Services. We provide support for children with special needs, including, but not limited to:
- feeding
- dispensing medication
- transportation
- companionship
- activities of daily living
Please review our services tab to see everything we offer, and if we can assist your family.
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