If you have a friend or loved one in the armed forces, who is deployed and coming back from war, it can be hard to know what they need and how you can best support them. They have been through an experience that is indescribable and that you can’t understand fully. But, they still need support from their family as they transition back to civilian life. Sometimes, they may not be able to express what that looks like, but that doesn’t mean that it is not still needed. Here are a few ways that you, as a family member or friend can support your returning soldiers.
Acknowledge and appreciate their service
When individuals return from combat, there is no need to pretend as if they did not go and serve the country. Sometimes we may think that it is better to not acknowledge that time because we are unsure of what to say. However it is okay to acknowledge that they were gone and that they have come back. If you are unsure of what to say, a safe phrase would be “Hey I’m glad to see your home again. What are you doing this weekend?” This acknowledges that they left and that their absence was noted, but now you’re including them back into the life they left. It is also very appropriate to thank them for their service. Younger service members may not think that it is as necessary but the older veterans do appreciate being faint. It shows appreciation for the sacrifices and the risk that they have put themselves in in order to defend our country. And it’s also important to thank family members, children and spouses, who also have had to sacrifice and make large life changes due to their loved one being deployed. This can be a very safe way to acknowledge and appreciate their time gone.
Be available to talk at their own pace
It can be very tempting to ask returning soldiers about their time deployed, however this may not be the best conversation to jump right into as soon as they return. They may have experienced some very traumatic events that can be triggering if talked about too soon. As part of the adjustment period to civilian life, soldiers may need to learn how to process the things that they both saw and participated in. Without giving them that time you may inadvertently be making their transition harder by pressuring them to dive into something in which they are just not ready. The best thing you can do is be open when they are ready to talk and just listen to what they have to say. Except the amount of information they choose to divulge to you and truly be a supportive ear. They don’t need your judgment, criticism, unsolicited advice, or anything other than someone to just vent to. If they ask for your opinion on something, then feel free to give it, but in most cases they are simply looking for someone to just listen.
Avoid potentially upsetting topics
If you are okay with having conversations with soldiers who are returning from combat, it’s very important to avoid potentially upsetting topics. This can include conversations about if they killed anyone or if they saw anyone be killed, politics, morality and ethics, or anything else that may bring up negative feelings that they are not yet ready to deal with. As civilians it can be very tempting to want to know the intimate details of their day-to-day life. However information for our enjoyment it’s something that could potentially be traumatizing to the individual, so it’s important to keep this in mind as we are trying to figure out how to best support soldiers returning from combat. It may seem interesting to you, but to them it may be a very dark spot of their life that they would like to not delve into.
Assist them with getting work or transitioning back to regular life
Another way that you can best support returning soldiers is to help them get a job or line up some sort of normal activity for them to do when they return. Some returning soldiers may be looking for something to distract them from the stress of transitioning back to civilian life. It can be very difficult to find jobs as a veteran, so if you know someone who is hiring then helping them get the job will be a great assistance to them. If individuals are not necessarily looking to get back into work but they would like to do something then you can connect them with volunteer opportunities or ways that they can be involved in something else. Use your connections to try and help civilians transition as seamlessly as possible back to civilian life.
Connect them with local resources
Last but certainly not least, another way that you can support soldiers returning from combat is to connect them with local resources that they may need. If you notice they are struggling with mental health disorders or physical disabilities, then they may need to be connected with resources that can help them return back to civilian life while dealing with those disabilities. Although returning soldiers may not be ready to see therapists or participate in community interventions, just having that information ready for them when they are ready could be a huge help. Oftentimes, they may want help but just may not know the best place to get it or how to ask for it. As far as support for physical disabilities, Home Health Services can be a great option, especially if they are struggling with their activities of daily living due to some sort of physical or mental disability. Diverse Health Services may be a great option for families of veterans who may need a little extra support while taking care of their returning soldiers who may not be able to care for themselves independently anymore. Please click on our services link to see what we offer and what we can do for your family.
Resource:
https://childmind.org/article/what-civilians-can-do-to-support-military-members/#:~:text=Offer%20a%20job%20if%20you,crowds)%2C%20or%20the%20movies.
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