The transition back to civilian life can be a starking and overwhelming transition for veterans. Their entire way of life changes, in addition to the other physical and emotional and mental traumas they may be dealing with, alone or with the proper resources. This transition is not only tough for veterans, but also for families who may have adjusted to living life a certain way, and now have to readjust to this extra person or authority figure who has returned. All of these changes can lead to a really tough and tense environment, making the transition that much more difficult for everyone involved. Here are a few tips to help smooth that transition so everyone can settle back in the best way possible.

Expect challenges

Transitioning back from deployment or time in the service in general is going to be challenging. The question is, is it going to be very challenging or mildly challenging. If you can expect these challenges and be realistic, that may help set your mind up to be able to handle them.

These challenges are going to be personal, familial, social, and vocational. You may be used to a rigid schedule or predictability and transitioning to a life where that is not the case can be nerve-racking. You may not know if jobs are going to hire you or if you’re going to be able to lead a normal life. At the end of the day, that’s okay. It’s normal. And you’re not alone.

Going into this transitioning expecting there to be some issues may prepare your mind to be flexible. Tell yourself that everything will work out as long as you use your resources, find some effective coping skills and use imagery to think about how you’re going to handle situations. Being proactive instead of reactive may help smooth this transition.

Look for jobs that hire veterans

Finding a job may be a struggle and it may be intimidating to re-enter the workforce. This is why it may be helpful to look for jobs that hire veterans. These employers are already familiar with your demographic, your needs, and how difficult this transition is for you. By looking on military job recruiting websites and using some veteran job seeking tools, you will be able to find jobs who are looking for people just like you.

These jobs may not even be military-related, but the employers know the strengths you bring as a veteran and that is what they are looking for in their jobs. When you’re looking for these jobs, make sure to highlight all of the experience you have from the military and any awards or distinctions you may have earned during your time serving. Really sell yourself and enter an environment that is going to be productive towards your transition.

Use resources

Veterans have a plethora of resources at their disposal to help them in all different facets upon their return to civilian life. These resources range from financial assistance to mental health and medical treatment. It’s important to use these resources while you are transitioning because this transition is extremely difficult. Doing it alone is simply not an option if you hope to have a positive transition back to civilian life.

One resource is the military transition assistance program (TAP). TAP can help service members switch to civilian life can help teach veterans about common struggles as well as how to approach them when they arise. It may be a good idea to use this program prior to experiencing issues just to be prepared ahead of time.

Counseling and mental health services is also a great resource to use. Families and service members should attend therapy together to provide a neutral space for all parties to express how they are feeling. These sessions don’t mean something is “wrong” with you and your family, but provides a safe space to openly talk about the transition and what that means for everyone involved.

If finances are a problem, then the military has financial assistance programs like VFW, and USA.gov. If you are a disabled veteran who needs home health assistance, Diverse Health Services has plenty of resources to assist. Please click on our services tab to find out more about how we can assist your family. Take advantage of these resources and don’t wait until it’s too late.

Tune in to symptoms and get help

It is inevitable that you may feel some sort of anxiety, PTSD, depression, or some other mental health disorder at some point during your transition. Even if it’s mild, it’s important to tune into these symptoms and get the help that you need. Once again, it’s important to remember that transitioning back to civilian life is extremely difficult and some of these challenges are expected. Therefore, it’s important to tune in to symptoms as soon as possible and get help.

If at any point you feel “off” or “not like yourself” or this impending doom or unshakeable sadness, these are all signs that something is not right and you may need to sort it out. If you are not sleeping well or are extremely irritable and mean, these are also signs that you need to work out something. Even increased use of substances, or out of character sexual, delinquent, or reckless behavior is a sign that you have something going on under the surface that may need to be addressed.

Work into the existing family dynamic

One of the most challenging transitions for veterans in their role in the family. Depending on how long family members were gone on deployment, the family dynamic could have shifted drastically. Single-parent households look different than two-parent households because there is one person with several different roles who creates a house dynamic that works for them.

When deployed parents return and try to pick up where they left off, it can be a rough transition for the children and the previously single parent. This is why it’s important to work into the existing family dynamic and slowly implement change. If there is something you don’t like, then it’s not going to work to come in and immediately change something. However, if you see something, then over time you can start to work towards a middle ground between the way it is and what you think is appropriate.

Work with your spouse, not against them

Finally, make sure to work with your spouse, not against them. They did the best they could while you were serving, and you’re doing the best you can transitioning back. It’s essential to remember that you both are a TEAM and you have to work together, not against each other. When it comes to children, lean on each other for support. Understand that your spouse may need a break from being a single parent. Also understand that they created a house flow that worked for them, so understand why things are the way they are before coming in and switching everything up.

As far as your relationship, remember to be patient and realistic. While you were gone, it is easy to build them up in your mind and have all of these expectations of them. Then when they fall short, you’re disappointed and either consciously or subconsciously exuding that disappointment. You may have to start dating each other again and going to couples counseling. Take some time to really work on your relationship and acknowledge that you both may be different people than you were before deployment and how exciting it is that you get to meet this whole new person!

Sources:

https://www.heroesmile.com/5-tips-for-military-transitions-to-civilian-life/